It was quite a coincidence that on the very day you were searching for this answer, I spent ten minutes struggling with the very same problem! Clearly neither of us are cut out to be office drones. I tried to ram a stick of staples into our heavy duty stapler for almost five minutes before realizing that the stapler was jammed, not broken. I felt very clever that I had mastered the subtle art of stapler diagnosis, un-jammed the stapler, and tested it out on a nearby stack of paper. When I shoved the handle of the stapler down, though, its spring-loaded backside was somehow propelled out and shot across the office, just missing its chance to wound a coworker who had walked away a few moments before.
This would seem to be final proof that the stapler was broken, but when I examined my sample stack of paper it was successfully bound with a heavy duty staple; so, I retrieved the spring-loaded portion and surreptitiously re-inserted it into the stapler, which now waits ominously in the file room, all primed to assault the next unsuspecting office drone. I sincerely hope it won't be you, yahoo-searcher!
I asked her, "Are you still tiny?"
"No!" she laughed.
"So are you big?" I said.
"No!" she laughed again.
Confused, I asked, "Well, what are you?"
She looked at me with wide, serious eyes and said matter-of-factly, "I'm Ruth the superhero."
I'm thinking if I have a superhero for a niece, my ticket to coolness is all ready to be stamped. See, I have it right here in my pocket. Wait, no, look! Don't run! I'm cool! Come see my ticket!
And to everyone who reads without commenting: I dare you to say hello. I double-dare you! No, I triple-dog-dare you to comment on this post.
Please? [whine]C'mon, I had cancer![/whine]