Saturday, December 30, 2006


Today as we were leaving work three of us lingered to chat about our weekend plans, or lack thereof. One young woman, who moved to Seattle from Ukraine when she was sixteen, asked if I had plans with Mr. Thel.

"Oh, not really," I said.

"Don't you spend New Year's together usually?" she asked.

I had to think about it for a minute. "Well, we have a few times...but not last, not always." I shrugged, thinking nothing of it, but she was amazed. Maybe "scandalized" more than amazed, actually.

"Oh, my gosh," she said. "I am always thinking being married means you are doing everything together, you know, like going places and holidays and everything. But maybe this is because I am not married yet!"

She was on her way out the door, so I didn't make her stay to listen to my speech about how Mr. Thel and I, committed as we are to each other, do not always agree on what "a good time" means. I love spending time with him, and we have a great time together (mostly...honestly, people, nobody has a great time together at all moments). Last Friday we ended up driving all the way to Oregon that night in large part because our conversation made the miles fly by. We spend three evenings out of four together, whether sitting at home or out somewhere. But sometimes my friends invite me out, or his friends invite him out, and that's okay too. Even if it ends up being on New Year's Eve.

I feel lucky to be with someone who understands that spending a few hours apart does not spell doom for our love, even if it seems quirky or weird to the rest of the world. And I realized this afternoon that I really, truly do not care if it seems quirky or weird to anyone else.

I am living this aspect of my life in the way it works for me, and I am unconcerned with the reaction of outside parties. This exact mental freedom is a goal I have been working toward for my entire life and I didn't even notice I'd achieved it until this afternoon. True, I've only achieved it in this one small part of my life. But now that I've proved it can be done, maybe it won't be so hard in the future.

It's a good, hopeful thought to hold as another year winds down.

P.S. The loan paperwork is all done. I just have to sign papers next week. Tuesday, supposedly. Sssssshhhh, don't tell anyone, but...I think I'm going to be a homeowner by Wednesday. Eeeeee!